Which lubricant should you use

Lubricant is the cheapest thing in this shop and the one that makes the biggest difference. Most complaints about a toy, a condom or an uncomfortable evening come down to the wrong lubricant or not enough of it.

Water-based, the one that works with everything

Water-based lubricant is safe with every toy material and with every condom. It washes off with water, it leaves no stain and it does not damage silicone.

The trade-off is that it dries out, because water evaporates. A splash of water or a little saliva brings it back to life without adding more from the bottle.

If you own one bottle, this is the one.

Silicone-based, for long sessions and for water

Silicone lubricant does not dry out. A few drops last for an hour and it works in the shower or the bath, where a water-based one washes straight off.

It is also the slipperiest of the lot, which is why it is the usual choice for anal.

The one rule: silicone lubricant can attack silicone toys. It softens the surface and leaves it permanently tacky. Use it with glass, steel, ABS or skin, and keep it away from your silicone toys, or test on the base first.

It is safe with latex condoms. It also stains sheets more than the others.

Hybrid, the compromise

Hybrid lubricant is mostly water with a little silicone. It lasts noticeably longer than pure water-based and feels creamier, and in practice it is gentle enough for silicone toys because the silicone content is low.

It is the middle road and a good default for couples who own both silicone toys and a long evening.

Oil-based and massage

Oil-based lubricants and massage oils feel wonderful on skin and last the longest of all.

They destroy latex. Never combine an oil-based product with a latex condom or a latex toy: the latex weakens within minutes and tears.

They are also hard to wash out of fabric and harder to rinse off the body. Treat them as massage products rather than as intercourse lubricants, unless you use no latex at all.

Anal, flavoured and warming

Anal lubricants are thicker so they stay in place, and that is the whole point of them. The anus produces nothing of its own, so lubricant here is not optional and more is better than less.

Some anal formulas contain a numbing agent. Skip those: pain is the signal that tells you to stop, and switching it off is how people get hurt.

Flavoured lubricants are made for oral and most contain sugar or sweetener, so they are not the right choice for vaginal use.

Warming and stimulating gels work with menthol or capsaicin-like ingredients. Test a drop on the inside of your wrist first, because the reaction differs enormously from person to person.

Condoms and toys, the compatibility rule in one line

Water-based works with everything.

Silicone works with every condom but not with silicone toys.

Oil works with almost no condom.

If you are using a condom and you are not sure, take the water-based bottle.

What not to use

Hand cream, body lotion, baby oil, coconut oil, cooking oil and Vaseline. They are not made for it, most of them wreck latex and several of them upset vaginal flora.

Saliva. It dries within seconds and is the most common cause of the friction people blame on the toy.

Soap and shower gel. They strip the natural lubrication and sting.

Ingredients worth a glance

Glycerin gives a slightly sweet taste and a fuller texture. People prone to thrush often do better without it.

A lubricant close to the body's own pH and salt balance is gentler on delicate tissue. Products aimed at sensitive skin usually say so on the label.

If you are trying to conceive, look for a product that says it is fertility friendly; ordinary lubricants are not designed with sperm in mind.

Frequently asked questions