For Couples

A toy for two is not a replacement for anything. It adds a sensation that hands alone cannot produce, or it hands one of you the controls. The best purchase is the one you both looked at before it went in the basket.

Toys you use during sex

Couples vibrators are worn during penetration: a flexible C shape with one arm inside and one on the clitoris. Fit matters more than power here, so look for a soft, bendable model rather than a rigid one.

Vibrating cock rings do a similar job from the other side and are the cheapest way to try shared vibration. Remote control eggs and wearable vibrators sit inside or against the body while your partner holds the remote, which works as well over dinner as it does in bed.

Playing at a distance

App controlled toys connect over Bluetooth in the same room and over the internet when you are apart. Check two things before you buy: whether the app allows control from another country, and what the brand says about your data. A toy that also works with its own buttons is worth more than one that is useless without a phone.

Strap-ons, kits and furniture

A harness plus a dildo lets either partner take the active role. Buy a harness with a standard O-ring so you can change the size of the dildo later, and check the base of the dildo against the ring.

Starter kits are good value when you do not yet know what you like, as long as you would happily buy two of the items on their own. Position aids and swings take the strain out of positions that are otherwise hard to hold, and matter more as the height difference between you grows.

Talking about it first

Buy together, agree on what you are curious about, and agree just as clearly on what is off the table. A toy that arrives as a surprise more often causes an awkward evening than a good one. Start with something small and shared rather than the most advanced device in the shop.

Hygiene when you share

Anything that moves from one person to the other, or from one part of the body to another, either gets washed in between or gets a fresh condom. Use only non porous materials, silicone, glass, steel or ABS. Water based lubricant is safe with every toy and with condoms.

Frequently asked questions