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Sex toy myths: 10 honest answers

Uppdaterad 10 november 20264 min läsning

Sex toys are more common than ever, yet the same worries keep coming up: that a vibrator will ruin you for real sex, that a toy means something is wrong in a relationship, or that only a certain sort of person uses one. Below are short, honest answers to the ten questions people search most, with tips on what to choose if you are ready to try.

Can you get addicted to a vibrator?

No, a vibrator is not addictive. It gives strong, reliable stimulation, so it can become your favourite way to climax, but preferring something that works is not the same as needing it. If you notice you only come with your toy, mix it up now and then: use your hands, try a lower setting or a different toy, and give your body time to respond to softer touch. Our vibrators range has gentle and powerful models side by side.

Does a vibrator make you numb?

A long, intense session can leave you feeling a little less sensitive for a while, but that feeling passes. It is the same as your hand tingling after holding a power tool. Start on a low setting, take breaks and vary the pattern. A toy with many settings, such as the Satisfyer Spot On 2 with its twelve patterns and whisper mode, makes it easy to stay gentle. If numbness ever lasts or worries you, see a doctor.

Are sex toys only for singles?

Not at all. Plenty of people in long relationships use toys alone and together, and many couples buy their first toy as a shared experiment. A toy adds a new sensation that neither hands nor bodies can give, which is exactly why couples like them. Our guide to toys for couples shows where to start.

Will a sex toy replace my partner?

No. A toy cannot kiss, laugh, hold you or know you. It is a tool for sensation, while a partner brings closeness, desire and surprise. Many people find a toy actually takes pressure off sex, because nobody has to do all the work. A vibrating ring like the Satisfyer Duelist is a good example: it is worn by one partner and felt by both.

Are sex toys safe?

Toys made from body-safe, non-porous materials are safe when you keep them clean. Look for silicone, ABS plastic, glass or stainless steel, and avoid cheap jelly toys with a strong chemical smell. Silicone such as in the Fun Factory Limba Flex S has no pores where bacteria can hide. Read more in our guide to body-safe materials.

Can men use vibrators?

Yes, and many do. Vibration feels good on the penis, the frenulum, the perineum and the prostate. Men can hold a bullet or wand against the shaft, wear a vibrating cock ring or try a prostate toy such as the Lelo LOKI Wave, which has a moving function aimed at the prostate. Browse all the options in prostate toys.

Is it normal to use a toy during sex?

Completely normal. Most women need clitoral stimulation to climax, and a toy is often the easiest way to add it during intercourse. Couples toys such as the Lelo TIANI 3 are designed to be worn during sex, and the remote changes the vibration when you tilt it. Using a toy is not a sign that your partner is lacking, it is a way to enjoy sex more.

Do big toys stretch you permanently?

No, the vagina and anus are elastic and return to their usual shape after sex or play. What matters is going slowly, using plenty of lube and never forcing anything. With anal play especially, start small and build up over time: our anal starter toys are made for exactly that. Pain is a signal to stop, not something to push through.

You can, as long as you clean the toy well between users or cover it with a fresh condom each time. Sharing without cleaning can pass on infections. Wash with warm water and mild soap or a cleaner such as Pjur Toy Clean Spray, and keep a box of Lelo HEX condoms nearby. Porous materials should not be shared at all. Our cleaning and storage guide explains how to do it.

Tip: Never put a toy that has been used anally into the vagina without cleaning it or changing the condom first.

How long does a sex toy last?

A well made toy can last for years if you look after it. Clean it after every use, charge it before storing it for long periods, keep it away from heat and store it in a pouch, such as the Satisfyer Treasure Bag, so it does not gather dust or rub against other toys. Battery toys like the Fun Factory Jam have nothing to wear out but the battery, which you simply replace. If a toy gets sticky, cracked or starts to smell, it is time to say goodbye.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need lube with a sex toy?

Most of the time, yes. Lube makes everything more comfortable and protects the skin. A water-based lube such as Pjur Aqua is safe with every toy and with condoms.

Can I use silicone lube on a silicone toy?

Better not. Silicone lube can damage the surface of a silicone toy over time. Stick to a water-based lube unless the maker says otherwise.

How do I tell my partner I want to try a toy?

Choose a relaxed moment outside the bedroom, say what you are curious about and suggest picking one together. Framing it as something fun to explore usually makes the talk easy.