How to use a vibrator: a step by step guide for your first time

Charge it and get to know the buttons

Most vibrators arrive with a partly charged battery or none at all. Charge yours fully before the first use and read the short leaflet in the box: it tells you how long to charge and how the buttons work. Some toys run on a regular battery instead. The Fun Factory Jam uses one AA battery, as does the Chisa Slim Mini Vibe, so there is nothing to charge and a spare is easy to find.

Before you lie down, switch the toy on and off a few times and click through the settings. Knowing which button lowers the intensity saves fumbling at the moment you want it.

Tip: Many rechargeable toys have a travel lock. If nothing happens when you press the button, check the leaflet for how to unlock it.

Wash it before the first use

A new toy has been through a factory and a warehouse, so give it a wash first. Warm water with mild soap is fine for most silicone and hard plastic toys, as long as the toy is waterproof. A spray such as Pjur Toy Clean Spray is free of alcohol and perfume and works on every material. Dry the toy with a clean towel.

Set the mood and warm up

A vibrator works best when you are already relaxed and a little aroused. Give yourself time: a warm shower, a comfortable spot, your phone on silent. Touch yourself with your hands first, on your thighs, belly and breasts, so your body knows something good is coming.

There is no right position. Many people start lying on their back with knees bent, others prefer lying on their front with the toy underneath, or sitting propped up against pillows.

The first session is about learning what you like, not about getting there fast.

Add a few drops of lube

Lube makes vibration feel smoother and stops the toy from dragging on dry skin. Put a few drops on the tip of the toy and a little on yourself. Choose a water-based lube such as Pjur Aqua 100 ml: it is safe with silicone toys and condoms. Silicone lube can damage silicone toys, so keep it for glass, steel or hard plastic.

Start on the lowest setting, on the outside

Switch the toy on at its lowest intensity and hold it against the outside first: your inner thighs, the outer lips, then slowly closer to the clitoris. Many people find direct contact on the clitoris too intense at first. Try circling around it, pressing through the hood or using the side of the toy instead of the tip.

A small bullet is ideal for this step, because you can place it exactly where you want. The Satisfyer Ultra Power Bullet 8 has 12 programmes and a whisper function. See more bullet and egg vibrators if you want something even smaller.

Tip: If the area starts to feel numb, take the toy away for a minute or drop to a lower setting. Sensation comes back quickly.

Explore patterns, pressure and rhythm

Once the lowest setting feels good, go up one step at a time. Then try the patterns: pulses, waves and escalating rhythms each feel different. Change the pressure too. Pressing harder makes the vibration deeper, a light touch makes it buzzier. Move the toy slowly or keep it still in one spot and let the build up happen.

A toy with a broader head, such as the Rimba G-Spot Vibe Oslo, spreads the vibration over a larger area, which many people find easier than a pointed tip.

Try it inside when you want to

If you would like internal stimulation, wait until you are aroused and well lubricated. Insert the toy slowly, only as far as is comfortable, and keep it on a low setting at first. The G-spot sits a few centimetres inside on the front wall, towards the belly button. A curved toy reaches it with short rocking movements rather than deep thrusting. Browse the G-spot vibrators for curved shapes.

A rabbit vibrator combines both: a shaft inside and an arm on the clitoris. The Satisfyer Love Me has a loop handle and two motors, so the inside and outside run at their own settings. Only use toys with a flared base or handle anally, and never move a toy from anus to vagina without washing it first.

Bring it in with a partner

A vibrator can be just as good with a partner. Show them what you discovered alone: where, how firmly and which setting. Hold the toy against your clitoris during sex, or let your partner hold it. An external toy without an insertable part, such as the Satisfyer Vibe Threesome 1, has three flexible arms and fits between two bodies. Talk about it beforehand, agree that either of you can stop at any time and start on the lowest setting.

Clean, dry and store it

After use, wash the toy with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, rinse well and let it dry completely. Do not submerge a toy that is only splash proof. Store each toy separately in a pouch, such as the Satisfyer Treasure Bag M, so materials do not touch and dust stays off. Our guide to cleaning and storage covers each material.

What to do next

Use your vibrator a few times before you decide what you like. Many people find their favourite setting only after several sessions. If you want a stronger, softer or differently shaped toy later, our list of the best vibrators for beginners compares the most popular first choices.