Last-minute gift for your partner: how to still sort it out

Decide what suits you first

Panic leads to expensive gifts nobody wants. Take a moment and ask yourself three questions: would your partner rather have something for themselves or something for the two of you, do they love surprises or prefer to choose, and how open are you with each other about toys? The answers shrink the choice straight away.

If your partner loves surprises and you are open about sex, a toy is a good choice. If they prefer to choose, or you genuinely do not know, the gift card is the best move. If it is for the holidays, our Christmas gift guide has more ideas.

Tip: Think back to what your partner has mentioned over the past few weeks. Often they have already said the gift out loud.

Choose a gift card when time is really short

A gift card is the fastest gift there is. It arrives by e-mail, instantly or on the date you choose, so it can land on the morning of a birthday or your anniversary. You add a personal message, so it is more than an amount. The card is valid for 24 months and can be spent in parts, so your partner does not have to choose everything at once.

If you would rather hand it over, print the e-mail and put it in an envelope with your note.

A gift card with your own message is quick, but never lazy.

Pick something small that can still be shipped

If you have a few days, a small gift fits in. First check shipping and returns to see how long delivery to your country takes, so you know what is realistic. Small gifts that always go down well:

• For her: the Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3, with 11 air pulse levels, 12 vibration programmes, an extra head and soft silicone. Our Satisfyer guide shows how it compares with the other models.
• For him: the Satisfyer Duelist, a stretchy vibrating cock ring with 12 programmes, waterproof and rechargeable. The motor sits against his partner's clitoris.
• For an exciting evening out: the LateToBed Lunder, a remote panty vibrator with 10 settings. Both the toy and the remote charge over USB.

More ideas made for two are among our gifts for couples.

Plan an evening at home

The gift gets bigger when there is an evening around it. Fix a date, tidy the living room, put clean sheets on the bed and switch your phone to silent. Cook something your partner loves, or order it in, that counts too.

A complete set makes planning easy. The Shunga Geisha Secrets Kit holds five things in travel sizes: a massage oil, a warming oil, a massage candle, a lubricant and a gel. That is a whole evening in one box. Other sets are among the gift sets.

Turn it into a massage

A massage is the one gift your partner will never send back. Start with the back and shoulders, go slowly and ask now and then what feels good. A cream such as the Shunga Wine Aroma massage cream absorbs into the skin instead of sitting on top, so the massage can end there just as well as lead on to something else. More oils, candles and accessories are under sensual massage.

Tip: Warm your hands and the oil or cream first. Cold hands on a bare back break the mood faster than you would think.

Add something exciting

To give the evening an edge, a blindfold is the smallest step. The Chisa Love Is Blind blindfold is soft PU on an elastic band, so it goes on and comes off in a second. When you cannot see, every touch feels stronger.

If you want to go further, the IntoYou Starters Bondage Set contains a mask, handcuffs, a feather tickler and dice. Agree on a safeword beforehand, take the cuffs off at any tingling or numbness and never leave your partner alone while they are cuffed. Our guide to bondage for beginners explains the basics calmly.

Write a personal note

This is the step that makes the difference. A few lines in your own handwriting weigh more than the gift itself. Write down:

1. a moment when you thought: you are the one I want to keep going with
2. something small about your partner that nobody else notices
3. what you are looking forward to, together

Put the note with the gift or on the pillow, or use the text as the message on the gift card.

Nobody remembers when you ordered a gift, but they do remember what you wrote with it.

What to do next

Once the gift is sorted, set a reminder in your calendar for the next occasion, a month ahead. Keep a note on your phone of everything your partner mentions in the coming months: a brand, a colour, an idea. Then next time you will not be searching at the last minute.

Still unsure right now? Simply choose the gift card with your own message. It lands in the inbox on the day you pick.