Bondage kits and sex toy sets: what is inside and which to choose

If you are curious about bondage but do not know yet what you like, a small soft set with cuffs, a blindfold and a tickler is the best first buy. Couples who already know they enjoy restraint get more from a larger kit with ankle cuffs, a collar, rope and a flogger, and couples who mainly want new toys to share pick a mixed sex toy set with a vibrator, dice or cards. Single pieces are the better choice once you know exactly which item you will use every time.

All bondage sets are in starter and bondage kits, mixed sets for two in sex toy sets and boxed presents in gift sets.

Why a set is a good start, and when it is not

A set puts several different sensations in one box: taking away sight, holding the hands, a light touch on the skin, a sting. You try them all in one evening and find out which two or three pieces you keep reaching for.

A set is not the best choice when you already know what you want. If cuffs are the only thing you use, one pair of sturdy cuffs and restraints will usually last longer than the cuffs in a large kit. The same goes for gags: a fitted gag from ball gags and mouth restraints lets you choose the ball size, which a kit does not.

What a bondage kit usually contains

• Wrist and ankle cuffs. The heart of almost every set. Buckles stay where you set them; velcro is quicker to open.
• Blindfold or mask. Without sight, touch and sound become stronger. The easiest piece to start with.
• Gag. Usually a ball gag, often with breathing holes. Only for people who already have a signal that works without words.
• Tickler or feather. Light, teasing touch, a good contrast to restraint.
• Rope. For simple ties; needs more practice than cuffs.
• Flogger, whip or paddle. For spanking and impact, from soft to firmer.
• Collar with leash. For role play and to show who leads.
• Nipple clamps. Pressure play; start loose and keep it short.

The best bondage kits and sex toy sets by situation

Small soft sets to try it out

• Best first set with a tickler: IntoYou Starters Bondage Set 4 Pieces. A mask, cuffs, a feather tickler and dice: the lightest way to find out whether bondage is for you.
• Best three-piece basics: Bondage Play 3 Pieces Bondage Set. An eye mask, cuffs and a mouth gag, each taking away one thing: sight, hands and speech.
• Best small set with a gag: Lovetoy Bondage Kit Deluxe. A gag, handcuffs and a tickler in silicone, nylon and polyester.
• Best small set with a vibrator: Lovetoy Bondage Kit Deluxe with Vibrator. A tickler, gag, blindfold and G-spot vibrator; the AAA battery is not included.

Larger kits for a whole evening

• Best all-round kit with rope: LateToBed 7 Bondage Pieces Set. Wrist and ankle cuffs, a breathable ball gag, bondage rope, a flogger, a mask and a collar, all adjustable.
• Best kit for wrists and ankles together: Secret Play Set 8 Pieces. Two pairs of cuffs with an X-shaped connector, a ball gag with holes, a whip, a mask, a padded collar and 10 m of soft rope.
• Best leather kit with storage: LateToBed 8 Piece Leather Bondage Kit. Leather wrist and ankle cuffs, a breathable leather ball gag, flogger, nipple clamp, heart-shaped paddle, kitten mask and collar with leash, in a snake-print case.

Collar and cuff sets

• Best detachable set: Midnight Desires Restriction Set. Vegan leather collar and cuffs with buckles that work alone or linked together.
• Best set with a chain: IntoYou Collar and Hand Cuffs Set. Vegan leather with a metal ring and chain between collar and cuffs, adjustable and nickel free.

Bed restraints

• Best for tying to the bed: LateToBed Spider Web Bed Bondage. A spider web restraint for the bed with four velcro cuffs that attach anywhere on the web.

Sex toy sets for couples

• Best mixed toy set: Pretty Love 30th Anniversary Collection Kit. Six pieces: a vibrator, two stimulators, kegel balls, an anal plug and a flogger.
• Best playful set for shy couples: Secret Play Secret Pleasures Box. A vibrating bullet, a feather, Kamasutra dice with pictograms and a satin pouch.
• Best travel set: Secret Play Sex on the Beach Travel Kit. 40 cards in six languages, a dice, a bullet and single doses of massage oil, lube and arousal gel.
• Best vibration and clamps: Baile Vibrating Bullet and Nipple Clamps. A 17 cm bullet with vibrating nipple clamps, powered by two AA batteries.

Sets compared

Figures are the makers' own; where something is not stated, check the product page.

Soft sets, leather sets and sets for couples

Soft beginner sets use fabric, nylon or faux leather: light, quick to put on, gentle on the skin and made for play rather than hard pulling. Right for a first try.

Leather and vegan leather sets feel heavier and more serious. Buckle cuffs stay at the size you set and a matching collar and leash suit role play. Genuine leather needs more care.

Sets for couples with vibrators mix restraint with stimulation, or skip restraint and focus on toys, dice and cards, for couples without fixed dominant and submissive roles. See also toys for couples.

How to start safely

• Talk first. Agree on what you want to try, what is off limits and who leads. Keep the first session short.
• Safeword. Choose a word that does not come up in play, such as red for stop and yellow for slow down. With a gag, agree on a signal without words: drop a ball you hold in your hand or hum three times.
• Quick release. Find out how every cuff opens before anyone is tied. Velcro opens fastest; keep keys and a pair of safety scissors within reach.
• Circulation. Two fingers should fit under every cuff. Tingling, numbness, cold or blue hands mean loosen at once.
• Breathing. The nose must stay free with a gag; never combine a gag with anything that covers the nose. See the ball gags guide.
• Never alone. Never leave someone alone while restrained, blindfolded or gagged, not even for a minute.
• Nipple clamps. Start loose and take them off after a short time; removing them is often more intense than wearing them.

New to all this? Bondage for beginners explains the first steps in more detail.

Cleaning and care per material

• Silicone and hard plastic (gags, vibrators, plugs): wash with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner and let dry.
• Fabric, nylon and faux fur: hand wash in lukewarm water with mild soap and dry flat.
• Leather: wipe with a slightly damp cloth, dry away from heat and treat with leather care now and then. Never soak it.
• Vegan leather: wipe with a damp cloth and mild soap.
• Metal parts and clamps: dry well after cleaning so nothing rusts, and check buckles and rings before each use.
• Rope: hand wash in a laundry bag and let dry loosely.

Store each set in its pouch or case so no pieces get lost. More tips are in cleaning and storage.

Matching lube and accessories

With silicone vibrators and plugs, use a water-based lube, because silicone lube can damage silicone toys. Later you can add blindfolds and masks or a better gag. For choosing lube, read the lubricant guide.

Frequently asked questions