Prostate massagers and P-spot toys: how to choose and use one

The best prostate massager for a beginner is a slim, curved toy of about 2.5 to 3 centimetres wide with a flared base, used with plenty of water-based lube. If you want to learn the angle first, a manual massager without a motor is the simplest start. If you already know you like vibration, a slim P-spot vibrator or a model with a remote gives you more without much extra width. Toys that wave, rotate, thrust or rock come next.

Every toy below comes from our prostate massagers and prostate toys sections.

What a prostate massager does

The prostate sits a few centimetres inside the anus, on the front wall, towards the belly. That is the P-spot. Many people with a prostate find steady pressure there intense, and some describe the orgasm as deeper or longer than from the penis alone.

A prostate massager is shaped to reach that spot: a curved shaft that angles forward and a base or handle that stays outside. Many models add an arm that rests against the perineum, the area between the testicles and the anus, so the same toy presses from inside and from outside.

Types of prostate toys

• Manual massagers have no motor. They are silent, need no charging and teach you exactly where the spot is.
• Vibrating P-spot toys add a motor that spreads the sensation.
• Moving toys wave like a finger, rotate, thrust, tap or rock, which comes closer to a partner's hand.
• Remote, app and cock ring models let you change settings without reaching behind you, hand the controls to a partner or keep the toy in place during sex.

The best prostate massagers by situation

Best manual massager for beginners: AfterDark Audather

The AfterDark Audather has no motor and no battery. At 11.3 by 2.5 centimetres it is one of the slimmest toys here, with a rounded tip and a curved, textured body. It is made of TPR, softer and more flexible than silicone.

Best for firm pressure: Chisa Prostatic Stimulator

The Chisa Prostatic Stimulator is a rigid POM toy of 12.5 by 2.5 centimetres with a curved tip and a handle that stays outside. Because it does not bend, it holds the pressure exactly where you aim it. POM is non-porous, so it is easy to keep clean.

Best slim vibrator: AfterDark Milstanz

The AfterDark Milstanz is 2.8 centimetres wide, the slimmest of the AfterDark P-spot vibrators, and 11.5 centimetres long. It has 10 vibration functions on a single button, premium silicone and magnetic USB charging.

Best with a remote for couples: Tardenoche Brett

The Tardenoche Brett measures 11 by 3.5 centimetres and has two motors with 8 vibration functions. The remote is a real handset, not a phone app, and both the toy and the remote charge over USB. It is made of flexible liquid silicone and waterproof.

Best for prostate and perineum together: Bathmate Prostate Pro

The Bathmate Prostate Pro has three motors, including one inside and one on the perineum, so the vibration does not fade along the toy. It offers 30 vibration patterns, is made of soft silicone, charges over USB and is IPX7 waterproof.

Best finger-like movement: Mr. Play with tickling beads

The Mr. Play Prostate Massager with Tickling Beads combines 7 vibration functions with 4 waving functions, a movement that feels like a beckoning finger rather than a buzz. The rounded end rests on the perineum. It is 12.7 by 3 centimetres, silicone, waterproof and USB rechargeable.

Best for experienced users: IntoYou Astex

The IntoYou Astex has three motors: one for vibration, one for thrusting and one for tapping against the prostate, each with 9 modes that you can use together or one at a time. A double ring at the base goes around the penis and testicles and holds the toy in place, and a remote is included. IntoYou states around 70 minutes of use after about two hours of charging.

Best hands-free with an app: Lelo Hugo 2

The Lelo Hugo 2 is made to be worn rather than held: it stays in place while your hands are free. It has 16 modes on the device itself, and pairing it with the Lelo app unlocks more.

Best automatic motion: Anal Fantasy Elite P-Spot Milker

The Anal Fantasy Elite Ultimate P-Spot Milker has a motor in the base that rocks the curved tip against the prostate while the outer arm presses the perineum, a milking motion that runs on its own. A separate vibrating bullet adds 9 functions. It is made of phthalate-free Elite silicone, USB rechargeable and waterproof.

Comparison table

How to choose a prostate massager

Width first. Width decides comfort far more than length. For a first toy, stay around 2.5 to 3 centimetres, like the Audather, the Chisa and the Milstanz.

A flared base or handle. Anything that goes into the anus needs a base, handle or arm that cannot slip inside. Never use an object without it.

The curve. A gentle forward curve finds the prostate for you. A perineum arm adds pressure from outside and helps the toy stay in place.

Material. Silicone and POM are non-porous and easy to clean. TPR is soft and affordable but porous, so it needs extra care after use.

Controls. One button is enough to start. A remote or app lets you change settings without twisting round, and lets a partner join in.

How to use a prostate massager for the first time

If anal play is new to you, read our guide anal play for beginners first. The short version:

• Go to the toilet and shower beforehand, so you can relax.
• Use a lot of lube, on the toy and on yourself, and add more whenever it feels dry.
• Lie on your side with your knees pulled up, or on your back. Breathe out slowly as the tip goes in.
• Insert the toy with the curve pointing towards your belly. Go slowly and give your muscles time.
• Once it is in place, keep it still for a moment. Then try small rocking movements, or switch on the vibration at the lowest setting. Switch moving toys on only when they are fully in place.
• Stop at any sharp pain. A feeling of fullness is normal; pain is not.

If you have pain, bleeding or a medical condition in that area, ask a doctor before you try anal toys.

Which lube to use

Anal play always needs lube, because the anus does not make its own. A water-based lube is safe with every toy in this guide; silicone lube can damage silicone surfaces over time. A thicker gel stays in place longer. Our lubricant guide explains the differences, and you will find suitable bottles under anal lubricants and water-based lubes.

Cleaning and care

Wash the toy before and after each use with warm water and a mild soap, or use a toy cleaner. Keep water away from the charging point of toys that are not waterproof. TPR is porous: clean it straight after use, let it dry completely and store it on its own, not pressed against other soft toys. A condom over a porous toy makes cleaning easier and is a must if you share it. Our guide to cleaning and storing your toys covers the rest.

Frequently asked questions